Ode to my Transcriber

Note: This is an oldie but a 'goodie' (subjective, of course). The other odes are freshly-written on their posted dates; however I found this one today from a while back and decided it needs a voice.

Oh my Transcriber,

How do I love thee, let me count the ways.

I love the way thou allowest me to distort my boss's voice (or his co-hort's) to one of no recognition, depending on mine temperament and toleration levels.

I love the way thou allowest me to rewind repeatedly, using only my foot; my flowing fingers never leaving the board of keys.

I love the way the wearing of thy headphones allowest me to appear deep within the confines of a work of grand importance; thereby thwarting any undesired conversational attempts.

I love the way thou ist mine alone, that thine soft ear pieces have not been pressed into the waxy confines of anothers lobes.

I love the way thine volume hast the ability to increase exponentially, drowning out the rantings and ravings of Others whose vocal volume increase without limit when spurred on by the vices of engineers or other menaces.

I love that thou allows me to enlarge or diminish the speed of thy sounds. If the voices from within thy tapes are dragging on, I may gently nudge thee forward, increasing my chances of maintaining gentle moods.

Pearlcorder T1000 Microcassette Transcriber I love thee, and I shall love thee forever.

Please, thou must not leave me without, subject to the rigors and fallacies of thy counterpart, the Microcassette Recorder.

With all my fond and warmest wishes and love,
Colleen