Ode to my Head of Hair

Head of Hair, I come to you with a mixture of feelings.

On the one hand I stand in awe of you, so thick, so full, so... much.
There is no shortage of your follices.
I have you thinned by The Stylist regularly and yet your volume seems to diminish only temporarily.
There is so much of you; I fear there are so many of your strands I have never even met.
You seem as though you must lie on the floor of a lush tropical rain forest rather than my head.
Rogaine, thinning, balding--- never do these misfortunes near my mind.
Bless you for your abundance.

But oh my Head of Hair, there is a dark side.

Your consistency is that of the common equine.
Thick, coarse.
Lacking the expected softness that I've seen in so many of my human friends.
My small Shih-tzu Biff, his hair is softer to the touch than yours, dear Head of Hair.
I thank the heavens for the products, the
Bumble and Bumble deeep condition
Joico K-pak Moisturizing Treatment
Bedhead AfterParty and
Biosilk Silk Therapy
for it is only with these and the grace of many other shampoos, conditioners and styling products, I am able to leave the apartment each day.

I shall not dwell on your shortcomings though, dear Head of Hair.

For you sufficiently cover my scalp.

What more, really, can a girl ask for.



And totally unrelated - how about this: if I'm in a public bathroom, inside a stall with the door shut - let's not get all chitty chatty.

Have a nice weekend.